Yesterday, a mere cracking of the front door of a highrise called the Independence Plaza in downtown Denver unleashed a heavy buzzing noise from inside the building. Vuvuzelas! Around the corner in the building's expansive ground floor common area, a 36-inch TV fixed to a huge marble-covered pillar was blasting out the Spain-Germany game for anyone within eighty yards to hear. About fifteen or twenty folks were camped around the pillar with their eyes glued to the screen. The group seemed to lean heavily toward Spain. There was a lot of nodding of approval when the ref decided not to award a German penalty kick in the second half. Meanwhile, across Germany, dudes were smashing their steins against their skulls.

With all this awesome world sport going on, not to mention the ecological armageddon and all the rest of it, you may not have noticed that the ol' Tour de France cranked up about a week ago. Juan Pelota vs. El Pistolero. Part 2. Not quite Spain versus Germany but good stuff. Lance Armstrong isa little older -- way, way old for a pro racer actually -- but, I would bet, also a little closer to his uber-self after another full year in focused training with that scrawny little target in his sights. There's been plenty of drama already, with a zillion crashes, a peloton protest resulting in a neutral finish, and a Parix-Roubaix-like cobbled stage on Tuesday in which L.A. flatted on the stonesand lost a bunch of time despite a furious chase. He solo'd valiantly after using up Popovych but couldn't match the even more relentless pace at the front, where most of his G.C. rivals were dashing to the finish behind the likes of Fabian Cancellara, smelling blood in the water. And not just any blood. Lance said: "Sometimes you're the hammer, and sometimes you get nailed. Today I was the nail." It'll be interesting to see how the rest of the Tour goes for him after that energy-sapping ordeal. Reconstituted Cadel Evans seems to have a good shot of winning it all at this point; even if Lance falters completely the race seems to promise a lot of dramatic action to come. Just be glad there are no vuvuzelas in bike racing.

A lot of people ask me what I think about the Tour. Is everybody doped? (Yes, that's why it's still a fair race.) Can Basso win after winning the Giro earlier this year? (No.) Is Contador the laboratory-modified progeny of Robby Benson and Rita Moreno? (I strongly suspect this to be the case yes.) Fact is, you probably don't want to know what I think. You don't need that kind of brain pollution. You probably don't have the time to listen to me yammer anyway. Now when people ask about the Tour I can just say, "check the haiku, dude."

We begin with Stage 5.

Tomorrow and after every stage until it's done: More haiku-like commentary.